April 1, 2008
The desire has been reborn,
The passion nourished,
The perception blown in by the winds,
Enlightenment on the shores of rocky beaches,
It hasn’t been an easy swim, no, never….
The waters dark, cold, and entrapping.
The only hope was the shore in sight, the color of the sands hitting my eyes from time to time,
Assuring me that I will reach it, just a bit more, just a bit more,
And finally, I have arrived, at my destination.
And Oh! What a precious place I have come to…
The waters green like Emerald,
The Emerald of Mikayels wings, broad and expanding, as the Beloved described.
The sands pink like the pearls and rubies my mother would adorn on her beloved hands,
As I would look on in young age hoping to comprise such gems of my own one day, and finally,
I have reached the destination. The length of the journey has only added to the sweetness of coming to its close.
Now, now that I have secured myself upon the sandy hills, I wonder…
I wonder, why is no one else in sight? Where has everyone gone?
How can such beauty and exotic wonders be forsaken? Could anywhere else be nearly as fulfilling?
No, certainly not. I want to call to the world, to the far shores in the distance,
Come! Come! See what has been promised, see what can be found no where else!
It’s truly unforgettable, the feeling of being back, Home.
Home, the Home of my Heart…
Yes, I have had the honour of being invited back, Home.
What a place I have yearned for, missed in every minute of seperation, longed for in every waking second,
And what could I have done to deserve the honour of this invitation? I am only at a loss of words, I could not know,
Even if I tried. And it is not for me to question, I know little, I see little, I could not understand,
Even if I tried. All I know is, the swim is not swift, stroke after stroke, with the mirage of the sands as my last hope…
My mind aching, my body exhausted, my heart yearning! Oh what a painful yearning! I have never seen such pain as that of
The heart aching for its Home. For its breath, for its drink.
In a sea of water, and none to drink!
In lands massed with lovers, and my own love not adequate.
What a disturbed knowing.
How can I recompense for this gift of being let in to my home again? I cannot.
Even if I were to try for the next thousand years, prostrate, sun in and sun out, I could not.
Praise be, Glory be, to only…only, the Greatest!
Who has given the beat of my heart back to me….
In the reach of deep lovers, of the truly devoted, the hearts of shining, stark White Light,
I have been pulling in, and being pulled in, by the tide of high lovers!
Finally, with the passing of the birth of the Beloved, and the birth of the Azure, of the Sapphire,
Of true heat of the Golden orb. Not of the falsely yellow sun, utterly insincere in the winter whiteness.
Color has finally been let in to my being, and what a joy it has been!
The Earth shouting with pleasure, with Birth!
The trees as pink as the budding mother!
The horizon of meadows as green as the Emerald seas. What a sight!
Truly, the Master has been Merciful once again…
For if it wasn’t for His Benevolence…
Oh I wouldn’t defy to think of where I would be…where we would be…
Nothing but at a loss, lost in the bold lie of the winter sun.