Falling in Love

April 17, 2008

My Lord I ask you for your aid, and my words to lift,
In honour of your greatest treasure and most precious gift
A gift that lit the world and graced the lives of those on earth
And I take this time to say these words in tribute on his birth.

He’s the one who called us to the belief in God the one
And whosoever embraces God has most truly won.

He’s the one who shattered for us the statues we would dread
And how the idols do exist, but only in our head.

He’s the one who showed us that knowledge is our light
And ignorance, the darkness, is the source of our plight.

He’s the one who placed his trust in the use of reason
And to abandon it was, to him, the worst form of treason.

He’s the one who told us that we must discard superstition
And never to adopt our beliefs out of custom and tradition.

He’s the one who God has sent in order to reform
Our moral code for us to live in upright, human, form.

He’s the one who made us see the harms of our sins
And taught us that our blind desires is where it all begins.

He’s the one who broke the chains of slavery to man,
And taught us that we’re all born free, according to God’s plan.

He’s the one who set for us an example of how to be
And taught us how to live in honour, and with human dignity.

He’s the one who dared not judge by blood or by breed,
And taught us that we’re only known by our word and deed.

He’s the one who made us stop fighting against each other,
And taught us that we’re family, and to respect our dear brother.

The Prophet of Mercy and the Messenger of Peace,
He’s Muhammad, God’s beloved, and His Masterpiece!

(Ibn Turab)

Falling in Love with the Beloved of Allaah-

some gems from Sheikh Muhammad Ninowy’s visit to Stonybrook.

The Beloved of Allaah!

 

Adhab of Al-Islaam:

 

Allaah azawajaal: “I have only created men and jinns to worship me.” (Quran)

Prophet (asalaatu wasalaam): “I have only been sent to perfect good character.”

 

Islam came to elevate the standard of good character, to elevate the par.

 

If you are good to those who are good to you, then what good are you?

-that is the minimal requirement of Ihsan, strive to do good to all, no matter how they treat you in return.

 

Be on the highest level of akhlaaq, this is what distinguishes you from all others; doing more than you’re expected! Rush to build your akhlaaq, the infrastructure of your soul. You can only build from the heart. And if Shaytan destructs your adhab he has hit your core, your backbone. Thus, do not sell your soul, for anything or anyone.

 

Suratul Imran: Allaah azawajaal has done the mu’mineen the greatest favor of bestowing upon them Muhammad (as). Purifying, illuminating our souls, as well as feeding/nurturing our bodies.

 

The Prophet asalaatu wasalaam said: “I am a gift of mercy (to all mankind)”

Allaah azawajaal: “You were sent as a mercy to the universe.”

 

People have slandered against you, and will continue to do so, however, as long as the hearts of the believers beat, you (Muhammad (s)) are in every heartbeat!

 

The eye will deny the sunshine, not because it’s not there, but because the eyes are blind. The mouths cannot taste the sweet waters, only because of the diseases in their mouths. – Purify yourselves before you can grow close to your Beloved.

 

Al-Mahmud – the All-Praised. Muhammad- the Praised.

 

The Mubarak Night of Al Isra wal Miraaj occurred so all the Prophets alaiyhesalaam and the Anbiyaah know who the Beloved (as) is!

          Hazrat Isa alaiheysalaam was waiting for 600 years for the birth of Muhammad (as), giving good tidings to others, all along. Subhan’Allaah!

 

The whole point of Ibadah is nurturing and reviving your soul, through establishing the everyday adhkaar & awraad.

 

Our deen, ultimately, is loving Muhammad (as), through which comes Muhabba of one another. Until the Prophet (S) is more important to you than all your loved ones, than you do not truly believe.

            -Sayyidina Umar in his humbleness and love around the Nabi (S)- Humility.

 

On our priority list- where is the Rasul of Allaah (swt)?

Once you have put him as number one, first before all else, then your Imaan will be complete.

 

Sayyidina Umaar contemplated, “I saw that my need for Rasulullah (S) was greater than my need for myself (because he was the one who taught me darkness to light, changed me into a Muhsin, therefore I love him more than myself)” Ma shaa’ Allaah!

 

The Nabi (s) is worrying for each of his Ummah, individually. His love for us is that everlasting, every good deed of yours he is pleased with. You send Salaam upon him, he sends it back!

 

Rasulullah (S) is waiting for us at Al-Kauthar, so that we satisfy our thirst!

 

My brother’s are those who come after me, not having seen me love me!

          The least we could is try to love him back just as much. By increasing our knowledge of the Sunnah, to the point of attaining Ilm and implementing Sunnah. Then you will surely taste the sweetness of love.

          Eat your date and taste its’ sweetness, out of the sweetness of your love for the  original eater of the date!

 

Through Ziyaarah- you shall taste the sweat of Imaan put into the soil of Makkah & Madinah!

 

Through Durood- you perfect your awraad as justly and fully as possible, according to the Sunnah, and further polish it off with adhkaar; durood and salawat.

 

 

3 ways to Love the Beloved:

            1.) Adhab: compassion, mercy, and Ihsan!

            2.) Ziyaarah!

            3.) Durood: the ones whom are closest to me on the DOJ is the one who has made the

                 most salawaat/salaam upon me!

-Thauban (ra) was crying and looking ill at one time because he was away from Rasulullah! Subhan’Allaahi wa bihamdihi! Have we ever cried because of our distance from our Rasul (S)?!

 

          Tazkiyyah and Tahajjud are the best ways to nourish our Nafs, through 1 on 1 time with Allaah azawajaal. – Take practical steps to your change.

 

          Elevate your Dhikr upon the Rasul (S). Keep increasing, and keep increasing. For this only does good- raises the Rasul (S), elevates him (S), in turn elevating YOU and increasing your Love for him. – We are ordained in the Quraan to make Salawat upon the Prophet (S), this is how important it is.

 

o        Ya Nabi! Ya Rasul! Loving you is Fardh! May you become the love of my heart, the love of my soul!

 

          At the end of the day all that matters is how happy you have made your Lord azawajaal and how close you have grown to your Rasul (S).

 

          Through increased Durood and knowledge of the Sunnah comes Amaal from Ilm. The point of learning is only, and ONLY to practice. You are only burdening your back if you compile Ilm.

 

          And the Adhab of Ilm is to learn it extensively and excel it. You are deprived if you don’t know the depth of each Hadith!

 

          Rumi rahimullah, seeked Shamsi Tabrizi post scholarship, for Shams was a scholar of the soul . Shams then took all of Rumi’s writings and books and threw them into the fire. Rumi hurriedly rushed to take them out of the fire so they wouldn’t burn, and Shams with one sweep of his arm brushed them out of the fire without a mark. When Rumi realized this man was not just another, Shams asked him, what good are your books if they are going to be a barrier to your learning? – It’s about going beyond the words,and letting the ink change your heart, and if it can’t do that, then they are useless!

 

          Ilm of the Sunnah really is all about helping you arrive at Allaah azawajaal, for your first and last objective is the pleasure of Allaah azawajaal. Salaat, and all other forms of Ibadah is a means to all of that; thus every act of servitude must be enjoyed, respected, understood, loved! If you accomplish this, you have done it well.  Salaat- Sawm- Zakah must fulfill their purposes, their means, not only their ends!

 

          His Pleasure is the only Goal, the Gold of Existence. You have only Him and noone else. And within every hardship and blessing, you have Only Him.

 

          His Existence is present within everything, manifested in ALL-

 

o        Al- Zahir- Apparent.

 

          Seize your imagination- your Khulq is perfect, but as a human being, your imperfect, in constant NEED. & of all multiplicities to exist- HE is not in NEED. Allaah azawajaal does not look at your shapes and forms but He only looks into your hearts, and He is the only one able to.

 

          You are born crying, and the people around you are laughing and smiling. When you die, people will be crying, so make sure you are the one smiling! And on your days here, what is the happiest day on Earth? The very day forgiveness of your soul is granted, and it is once again revived! Do not take your soul lightly, don’t let it sleep, for eventually it will permanently die. When you wake up everyday, really WAKE UP, for if you don’t, you will wake up in your grave and there, in the barzakh, your only companions will be your deeds.

 

 

          He sends upon them Bounties, and through them the Highest Bounty, from amongst them, the Nafees, most Purified, in Adhaab, in Sabr, in Aql ! In his efforts, in his strength, most merciful, purified in body and soul, purified from sins and mistakes.

 

          Hukm- leadership, and Hikm- wisdom, was perfect. Allaah azawajaal opened the eyes of the blind through the Beloved, hearts that were closed, ears that were deaf!

 

          Glorification of Rasulullah (S)-

 

o        Al-Islaam distinguishes Creator from Creation- after that, what charecteristic can you give the Prophet (S) that he does not deserve?

§         Siratullah, Kitabullah, Habeebullah,Nuurullah,Deenullah, Siddiq, Sadiq, Mussadiq- surpassed all Prophets in everything!

          Allah azawajaal told us to glorify Him!

o        The words of the poets could not even suffice his beauty.

 

          Whoever is blind in this Dunya is even more blind in the Akhiraah.

 

          May Allaah azawajaal elevate the Nuur of our Hearts, our Light!

o        A sign of darkness, ultimate bankruptcy is when you feel too much of a need for people. Your only comfort zone should be in solitude with Allaah (swt). Make sure you feel this anticipation everyday and at the end of everyday.

 

          Do your part for the creation, the leave them to the Creator, and spend time with Allaah! Detach from creation, people and dunya, and attach to the Creator!

 

-When your time with Allaah goes through its’ levels, you begin to see with a greater, more perceptive eye.

 

          Musaa (as) was faced with Khidr (Wali/Nabi) of Allaah, as a teacher of Sabr. Khidr said he (as)  didn’t have enough of it, and sent him away. Although, Musaa (as) was compelled to object three times. Allaah azawajaal had ordained Musaa (as) to go learn from Khidr, and he (as) was obliged to object for it went against his Shariaa.

          Shows us the magnificence of His creation..

 

Sacrifice!

April 12, 2008

How to draw from within yourselves the inner resources which would generate, nourish and sustain your spirit and capacity to sacrifice? How can you become, and remain, willing and prepared to offer sacrifices required of you?

You have come to know some of the ways while we have been discussing various types of sacrifices. There are, how ever, certain fundamental inner resources which need to be emphasized and remembered, which you must try to generate within yourselves.

But first let us recapitulate certain basic principles on which these resources depend.

One, a sacrifice is a sacrifice only when you give up something which you love or value or desire. You can give it up only for the sake of something which you love more or value and desire more, or which is more important or urgent to you. Two, whatever the outer form of sacrifice – time, wealth, life, likes and dislikes, opinions – what you really sacrifice is the love and value you attach to it, and not the form. Three, you will therefore become more willing and pre pared to offer a sacrifice in the way of Allah as your love for Allah and His rewards increases in depth, intensity and strength and as the value you attach to the objects of sacrifice diminishes in your sight.

Love for Allah

Thus love lies at the root of everything. You can therefore realize what you need most to help you gain the inner strength necessary for offering sacrifices. It is your love for Allah. How much do you love him? Do you love Him more than everything else?

That is why the Qur’an says: ‘The [true] believers love God more than all else’ (al-Baqarah 2:165). That is why it confronts every Muslim with one simple but profound question: Whom do you love more? Allah, His Messenger and Jihad in His way, or fathers, sons, wives, brothers, wealth, houses, commerce, careers? (al-Tawbah 9: 24).

Only with such love for Allah will sacrifice turn into an inner urge,rather than remaining a motion of compliance with an external exhortation. Then you will derive the true delight and pleasure in fulfilling the demands of Iman. Remember: there are two types of Iman. One remains on our lips and that is the Iman which becomes a burden to us. There is another Iman which penetrates into the heart that is the Iman which becomes a pleasure, a delight, a joy. Once you have this Iman, if you are required to give time, money, life or sacrifice,likes and dislikes, opinions, you do it gladly. The Prophet, blessings and peace be on him, said: ‘There are three things, only the one who has them will taste the sweetness of Iman: [first of them is] that Allah and His Messenger he loves more than any other thing beside them . . .’ (Bukhari, Muslim).

How to attain love for Allah which exceeds every other love? There are not, and cannot be, any precise formula for this purpose. But a few things will help. And each in turn will become a rich inner resource you will need to fulfill the demands of sacrificing.

Remembering Allah

Remember how He has created you, provided you with everything you need; how infinitely Merciful He is. Look at your existence, look at the universe around you, and everywhere you will see His mercy and care, His wisdom and majesty. As you reflect and ponder over ‘His signs’, which are everywhere, your love for Him will increase.

Part of remembering Him is to turn to Him and seek His help in loving Him. The Prophet, blessings and peace be On him, has taught us many ways of doing so. Two are:

I ask of Thee, Allah, Thy love, love of those who love Thee, and the (doing of) deeds which may bring Thy love to me. Make my love for Thee greater than my love for myself, for my wealth, for my family, for cold water1 (Tirmidhi, Muslim).

Allah, make Thy love greater than every other love, Thy fear greater than every other fear. Make my eagerness to meet Thee cut across all my worldly desires. Place my pleasure in worshipping Thee while Thou gives the worldly their pleasure in this world.

Remembering Him as often as you can is essential and fundamental. It will help you not only to attain love, but all other resources you need to develop your spirit and capacity of sacrifice: mindful of living in His presence, attaching real value to meeting Him and receiving His rewards, understanding the worth and place of this-worldly life, grateful and humble before Him, fearful of never having done enough, prepared and willing to obey His commands.

Living in His Presence

Live as if you are in His presence. Remember that ‘He is with you wherever you may be’ (al-Hadid 57:4). When you are called upon to make a sacrifice, or you prepare to make it of your own accord, remember that you are before His eyes. That is what He asks us to be mindful of: ‘Surely you are before Our eyes’ (al-Tur 52:48).

Coupled with your conviction that whatever you are sacrificing belongs to the One who is seeing you, and His reward would be manifold and eternal, this should give you some measure of that inner urge and strength essential to you.

This consciousness of being in His presence, of His Eyes being upon us, of Him listening to us, of doing our duty as our Master is with us, praising us generously, rewarding us kindly, is a prime source for creating the spirit of sacrifice. This also creates trust in Him, because once you know that you are with Him, you can entrust all your affairs to Him.

Meeting Allah

Every one of us has to die (al-Imran 3:185). Death is not the end of everything, it is only a transition into the next phase. In that phase we will stand face to face with Allah.

None of us likes to die; it is only human. But die we must, and only after death will the doors open to eternal life and blessings. If you understand the nature and reality of this-worldly life, if you know that you can receive your fair wages only upon meeting Allah, then you will develop two feelings. One, a desire to meet Him, however you may fear Him on account of your own misdeeds. Two, the preparedness to sacrifice everything that belongs to this-world for what you will earn in reward in the Hereafter.

One of the du’as the Prophet, blessings and peace be on him, used to make says:

Allah! Grant me the delight of looking at Thy noble face and a longing to meet Thee (Nasa’i, Ahmad, Hakim).

Grateful and Humble

Whatever the nature of sacrifice, and whether big or small tangible or intangible, offer it in gratitude and humility. It so often happens that one begins to get weary and tired of giving in the way of Allah. One, then, begins to say, ‘We have already spent so much time; we have already given so much money; how much more shall we give?; we have already made so many sacrifices; what else is required of us?’ This will happen only if you are making sacrifices not to please Allah alone; but then you are motivated by something else. Or, when you do not realize that you should indeed be grateful to Him for every opportunity you get to offer some sacrifice. Also offer every sacrifice in all humility.

Let us be very clear that whatever things you sacrifice, you do not give it to some person, nor to some organization. Nor do you give it to Allah, though He is Merciful and Generous enough to say that whatever you give is a loan to Him, which shall be repaid manifold. You give everything to yourselves. Does one ever get tired of giving more and more to himself?

Now this is not selfishness. It only means that we believe that our ultimate prosperity lies in submission to the will of Allah. Through sacrifice we seek our betterment in this life and we desire a successful, eternal life in the Hereafter. At the same time, every sacrifice we make, everything we give in the way of Allah, makes our community stronger.

Therefore be grateful to Allah for having given you the opportunity to sacrifice, for having called upon you to serve Him, for having blessed you with the ability to offer something in His way. Things might have been otherwise. We might have been left wandering astray: we might not have been given the opportunity to sacrifice wealth and thus reap eternal reward. You should therefore give every sacrifice in the spirit of gratitude. To Him you should look for acceptance.

And also humility. You should never have the feeling of having done enough. Once the disease creeps into your heart that you have done enough, then all is lost. You should always think that whatever sacrifice you may offer, it is still nothing compared to the obligations you have to discharge towards Allah.

Being fearful of never having given away enough is very fundamental to your sacrifice. The Qur’an says: ‘They give what they give, but their hearts tremble’ (al-Mu’minun 23:60).

Inner Urge

The primary motivating force that drives you to make sacrifices must lie inside your own self. The urge should come from within The roots must lie deep in heart and soul. Neither group approval, nor conformity, nor organizational discipline, nor any other external pressure, should provide the compulsion to come forward with your sacrifice. Each one of them is important and has an important role to play in shaping our conduct. But if sacrifices are offered for any reason other than Allah’s pleasure, it would be extremely difficult to offer large sacrifices, or offer them continually, under all circumstances. The will and spirit to sacrifice must be internalized.

Willing Choice

Choice to sacrifice should be made willingly. This means that you should, by your own choice, come forward to offer whatever you can to secure Allah’s pleasure. Your will should harmonize with His will.

This does not mean that one should not feel any pain or discomfort while making a sacrifice. Once you give up your love or your desire or your value, to feel pain is only human. Indeed, if you feel no pain in giving up something, that giving up may not be worth being called a sacrifice. You are throwing away something which is of no value to you. Rather, the greater the pain, the greater the worth of the sacrifice. But pain ought to be followed by contentment; contentment for having given up something you considered valuable for Allah’s pleasure which is really the most valuable, for having willingly borne pain for the sake of your love for Allah which supersedes every other love.

Two Basic Aids

We have been given two basic aids to help us develop all those inner resources which I have put before you. I can only mention them in passing, for each deserves to be treated in detail in its own right.

O Believers! Seek help with Sabr and Salat (al-Baqarah 2:153).

What is Salat? Salat of course is a ritual worship. It consists of certain physical postures. It also consists of certain words which we utter from beginning to end. But the whole purpose of Salat is to remember and to be conscious of Allah. This is what the Qur’an very clearly states: ‘Establish Prayer to remember Me’ (Ta Ha 20:14).

What is sabr? It is very comprehensive in meaning. Literally sabr means to bind and restrain. In the Qur’an it encompasses qualities as wide as restraint and resolve, patience and the will to sacrifice, discipline and steadfastness. It binds you to your pledge to Allah, to your brothers, to your good in the Hereafter.

Hold on to Salat and sabr and you will gain the strength you need to offer sacrifices.

Two Models

Let us, finally, look at two models of sacrifice.

One is Ibrahim: He was tried and tested in every conceivable way. His father, his family, the priestly and political powers all were opposed to Him. He forsook them. He was thrown in the fire. He was banished from his home. He wandered through deserts and forests. And, ultimately, he put the knife on the throat of his son.

This was perhaps the most difficult thing to do. It involved not only the sacrifice of a beloved son; it asked for the sacrifice of a recognized basic human ethics. Yet, in final analysis, all ethics and morality are rooted in God’s Will. Pleasing Him is the ultimate criterion. But, of course, only a Messenger in direct communication with God can be in a position to override an ethics laid down by God and Him this extreme sacrifice. Each one of us, however, may at times, have to suspend his ‘personal’ ethical judgement in the face of a clear injunction from Allah.

Only after offering all these sacrifices, and the ultimate sacrifice, was Ibrahim proclaimed as the ‘leader of mankind’.

And when his Lord tested Ibrahim by various commandments and he fulfilled all of them, He said, Behold, I make you a leader of mankind (al-Baqarah 2:124).

If we profess and proclaim that we stand for a revival of Islam, where Islam will be the leader of all mankind, then we should, individually and collectively, follow and emulate; that noble model of Ibrahim.

The second model is that of the Prophet Muhammad blessings and peace be on him. Whether it was in the valley of Makkah where thorns were laid in his path or in the valley of Taif where stones were thrown at him, on the battlefield of Uhud where he lost his teeth or in the streets of Madina where his enemies raised all sorts of slanderous campaigns and propaganda against him, he has left for us the best examples of sacrifice. So did his followers and Companions.

Root Principles

Sacrifice, as we saw earlier, primarily means slaughter of an animal. To remember the examples of Ibrahim and Muhammad you sacrifice an animal each year on the day after Hajj; Hajj itself being a worship rite which incorporates the most intense and sustained sacrifices. Here we must remember two important lessons.

One: What finds acceptance with God is not the sacrificial animal, but our willingness and preparedness to sacrifice, His love in our hearts, our obedience to Him. Never lose sight of this root principle; never be content with ‘form’ without spirit; nor,though, ever give up forms.

The flesh of them shall not reach God, neither their blood, but godliness from you shall reach Him (al-Hajj 22:37).

Two: The supreme sacrifice is the sacrifice of life. By giving away your physical life in the way of Allah, you die once. And that is the ultimate sacrifice. But you are required to die every day and every moment as you overcome your deeply-rooted loves, as you offer yourself totally to God, as you obey Him against all opposition from within and without. Thus you lay down your life, not just once, but again and again. That is the supreme sacrifice.

Say: My Prayer and my sacrifice, my living and my dying belong to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds (al-An’am 6:162).

(Source Unnamed)

Pearls

April 7, 2008

~ like unto Pearls, well Guarded {55:23}

these bodies are our prisons, our death before death,
our shells that are in constant decay, day by day,
how do we live beyond all of this rust…
how must we breakthrough before they,
kill us at once!

Bodies… punctured, holes all over,
holes in seeing, hearing, breathing!
Death so close in the hardness of our hands,
nails, hairs, skin…
what is all this if not death, completely visible, in the open!

Subhan’Allaah.

When will we leave the bits of death and learn to break free,
live our lives how we are supposed to Be…with vibrancy, and might,
with every beat of our Hearts, and Nourishment of our Ruuh!

Can you imagine…
What lightness it will be, what a joy, what a contentment
with Nothing left but the Love of the Beloved…

For if we dont break through the filthy shackles of the stomach,
existing in between the Nitfah and Jifah, we will never know
that liberation and cleanliness.

Ya Insaan!
See with your beloved Heart, not with your eyes!
Feel with your breath, not with the clay of arms and legs.
Hear with your knowing Ruuh!
Not with the holes on either side of your confined mind!
Leave your body to the Earth to take care of,
Fly, free..
to the Skies!

Fly…

Only the strength of sincerity; Ikhlaas, empowering your Wings.

For the beauty of the Qalb lies within the Pearl of Akhlaaq,
Sincerity in every sense of the word, carried out for the only Purpose,
Al-Haqq!

Salvation.

(gems of excerpts from Sidi Hisham & Shaykh Qadhi)

Grace

April 1, 2008

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The desire has been reborn,

The passion nourished,

The perception blown in by the winds,

Enlightenment on the shores of rocky beaches,

It hasn’t been an easy swim, no, never….

The waters dark, cold, and entrapping.

The only hope was the shore in sight, the color of the sands hitting my eyes from time to time,

Assuring me that I will reach it, just a bit more, just a bit more,

And finally, I have arrived, at my destination.

And Oh! What a precious place I have come to…

The waters green like Emerald,

The Emerald of Mikayels wings, broad and expanding, as the Beloved described.

The sands pink like the pearls and rubies my mother would adorn on her beloved hands,

As I would look on in young age hoping to comprise such gems of my own one day, and finally,

I have reached the destination. The length of the journey has only added to the sweetness of coming to its close.

Now, now that I have secured myself upon the sandy hills, I wonder…

I wonder, why is no one else in sight? Where has everyone gone?

How can such beauty and exotic wonders be forsaken? Could anywhere else be nearly as fulfilling?

No, certainly not. I want to call to the world, to the far shores in the distance,

Come! Come! See what has been promised, see what can be found no where else!

It’s truly unforgettable, the feeling of being back, Home.

Home, the Home of my Heart…

Yes, I have had the honour of being invited back, Home.

What a place I have yearned for, missed in every minute of seperation, longed for in every waking second,

And what could I have done to deserve the honour of this invitation? I am only at a loss of words, I could not know,

Even if I tried. And it is not for me to question, I know little, I see little,  I could not understand,

Even if I tried. All I know is, the swim is not swift, stroke after stroke, with the mirage of the sands as my last hope…

My mind aching, my body exhausted, my heart yearning! Oh what a painful yearning! I have never seen such pain as that of

The heart aching for its Home. For its breath, for its drink.

In a sea of water, and none to drink!

In lands massed with lovers, and my own love not adequate.

 What a disturbed knowing.

How can I recompense for this gift of being let in to my home again? I cannot.

Even if I were to try for the next thousand years, prostrate, sun in and sun out, I could not. 

Praise be, Glory be, to only…only, the Greatest!

Who has given the beat of my heart back to me….

Most exqusitely!

In the reach of deep lovers, of the truly devoted, the hearts of shining, stark White Light,

I have been pulling in, and being pulled in, by the tide of high lovers!

Finally, with the passing of the birth of the Beloved, and the birth of the Azure, of the Sapphire,

Of true heat of the Golden orb. Not of the falsely yellow sun, utterly insincere in the winter whiteness.

Color has finally been let in to my being, and what a joy it has been!

The Earth shouting with pleasure, with Birth!

The trees as pink as the budding mother!

The horizon of meadows as green as the Emerald seas. What a sight!

Truly, the Master has been Merciful once again…

For if it wasn’t for His Benevolence…

Oh I wouldn’t defy to think of where I would be…where we would be…

Nothing but at a loss, lost in the bold lie of the winter sun.