March 9, 2008
Subhan’Allaah, as I am sitting in my room after a long day, reflecting on the day, on my life as I know it, on my understanding of the world, and the expectations for tomorrow, I can’t help but try to plan for the future, no matter it be for next week or for years to come. I sit here thinking and contemplating on life as it is, and how it might turn out in the end, and that’s when I make the realization, maybe today was my last day, maybe I just am not meant to see another sunrise or sunset, and that these past 24 hours really were my last hours in this world, could I know? Could you know? No. We cannot. Alhamdulillah, my life is good, I haven’t seen disease, and I haven’t experienced loss, I am healthy, secure, and on the threshold to the rest of my life, walhamdulillah! But I- like you- do not know what is to come in the next five minutes, or the next 5 years, so I think, has my purpose been fulfilled? Has my job been done, my real job? Is my Creator happy with me? I really do not think so, not only am I not successful, but I am far from it, and this is what has scared me the most in these moments…perhaps you can sympathize in someway or another, but all I’m asking is for you to take a look at this video, and I’m sure you’ll be somewhere along the same lines…
When we are placed in our graves, having to suffice with our white shrouds and 6 feet of dirt, we will yearn, we will implore, if only we could come back, to make one more Istighfar, make one more Salaat, just one, just one more La Ilaha Illalah…! And Allaah, the All Mighty will be waiting with his response; “Kalah!” No!