January 29, 2008


knowledge my provider,
reflection my sustainer,
inspiration my light,
to acquire the learning i seek.

ink on pages i can see,
but it’s the whiteness of the black letters that i read,
growing to perceive the pen holder merely by receiving His words,
His image so clear in my mind, my eyes must be blind
for it is not with the black of my eyes that i can behold,
but more boldly with the whites of my heart that i have learned to grasp-
the purity and perfection of that which wraps
my breath, my blood, my flesh,
in Its arms so lovingly so…

every hurting that strikes me, i know was not meant to miss me
but eventually, even the cruelity of pain, turns into sweetness
as rememberance overtakes me, time and time again,
dont you see, i far more desire my punishment in this life than the next,
welcoming the stabs at my body, with sharp intakes of breath,
for i know, not this minute but the next, the rewards will come…
the ease now, now will exceed the difficulty
once again i will learn to grab on,
to the purity and perfection of that which wraps
my breath, my blood, my flesh,
in Its arms so lovingly so…

not able to let go,
i basque in the Majestic embrace,
for it is far warmer than even my mother’s grace,
seventy times greater, how can i think to part…
from such protection and radiance, beautiful
i know within i could never find such patience and ease,
lost in the gentle face of my Beholder,
rememberance will merely suffice
for the precious moments which have passed and drifted with only, and only
the Will of the Winds…

~ i write this for You,
for perhaps a chance at gratitude
although i know, i could never truly see,
every bounty you have bestowed upon me.


-poetry…my relaxation, my expansion after exhaustion,
mindless understanding, fikr within dhikr, never apart-

Seeking of the Traveler;

January 28, 2008


questions of the traveler…

A traveler once came to the mosque to see the prophet Muhammad
asaalatu wasalaam, after greeting the prophet, he was asked where he was from. The traveler replied hat he came from very far just to get a few questions answered.

read & ponder for your own nourishment & growth,

Traveller : I do not want azhab (punishments) to be written in
my account.

*Prophet : Behave well with your parents *

Traveller : I want to be known amongst people as an intelligent person.

*Prophet : Fear Allah azawajaal, always. *

Traveller : I want to be counted amongst Allah’s favourites.

*Prophet : Recite Quran every morning and evening. *

Traveller : I want my heart to always be enlightened.
(Roshan and Munawer)

*Prophet : Never forget death. *

Traveller : I never want to be forsaken of Allah’s blessing.

*Prophet : Always treat fellow creatures well. *

Traveller : I never want to be harmed by my enemies.

*Prophet : Always have faith in only Allah. *

Traveller : I never want to be humiliated.

*Prophet : Be careful of your actions. *

Traveller : I wish to live long.

*Prophet : Always do Goodness towards blood relations *

Traveller : I want my sustenance to increase.

*Prophet : Always be in wudhoo. *

Traveller : I wish to stay free of azhab in the grave.

*Prophet : Always wear pure (paak) clothes. *

Traveller : I never want to be burned in hell.

*Prophet : Control your eyes and tongue. *

Traveller : How do I get my sins forgiven?

*Prophet : Always ask forgiveness from Allah with a lot of humility.

Traveller : I want people to respect me always.

*Prophet : Never extend your hands of need at people. *

Traveller : I want to always be honoured.

*Prophet : Never humiliate or put down anyone. *

Traveller : I don’t want to be squeezed by fishare qabr.
(Squeezing in the grave)

*Prophet : Recite surat el Mulk (The Dominion) often. *

Traveller : I want my wealth to increase.

*Prophet : Recite surat el Waqiah (The Inevitable) every night. *

Traveller : I want to be safe and at peace on Day of Judgment.

*Prophet : Do zikr (Praises) of Allah from dusk to night. *

Traveller : I want to be in full attention and concentration
during prayers.

*Prophet : Always do wudhoo with concentration and attention. *

*Kindly do forward to all Mo-Omineens and Mo-Omina’s.

ps. while the many may go out to conquer the world, only the few know how to inherit the Earth, truly, thus, while waiting for that inheritance, work with the Winds.

“It is We Who will inherit the earth, and all beings thereon: to Us will they all be returned” (Surah Maryam 19:40)


Hija’ab & I

January 21, 2008


Somehow, somewhere, on the path to hayaa, perfection & completion of aadhaab, of putting on the hijaab, protecting yourself, your privacy, and most respectably your honour- Hija’ab turned into a fashion sense, a look, a style, a persona. It became about what hijaab fit your face shape best and which didn’t, it became about stopping shopping for regular clothes but doubling efforts to find longer, sleeker clothing.

Somewhere along the line, hayaa became a thought at the back of my head, and finishing the look to my outfit came to the forefront, and if that meant foresaking a tight spot here and there, then so be it.

Subhan’Allaah, where I have come to? Where have I landed myself?

Just the other day, a young girl looking to start hijaab said to me, Insha’Allaah I’ll be starting as soon as I find the right hijaab, that looks best and gives the right compliments to my face shape. I just stood there, dumbfounded, blank in mind, silence on my tongue. I couldn’t bring myself to say; When, Y’Allaah!, when did this peice of cloth turn from a symbol of honour and self-respect, of the ultimate protection, into just another fashion symbol?

When did it become just another persona and style in the massive sea of fashionistas and designers? How we have demeaned hijaab, starting only with myself, reflecting only on my own thoughts and desires, how I have watered it down to such an individualistic style, to representing the value of its’ designer and the shape of its’ cut. How I am only fooling myself, how my nafs has driven me head under water, blind to the world, blind to myself, thinking I am dressing to please Allaah, while all I’m doing is pleasing the people.

Why, why? Again and again we blind ourselves, though our intentions start pure and strong, if we don’t take our precautions and listen to our hearts, everything becomes distorted, falsified, blackened by the shiny world of endless designer names, patterns, styles, abundant supplies of clothing upon clothing, hijaab upon hijaab.

What’s wrong with dressing well in proper hayaa and modesty, you may ask? Nothing, it seems on the surface, but look a bit deeper and the troubled waters will hit you, surely they did for me. From the defintion of hayaa to the defintion of hijaab, to the limits of exuberance, being cautious of ostentation. You tell me, what’s that cloth on your head doing? Attracting less attention, or more? You cover up and then add glitter to your coverings, what does that do? Nothing.

Let me define somethings for myself, as a servant of Allaah azawajaal, a human just trying to fulfill my purpose in pleasing my Lord, how should I present myself to the world, to the people? I think, humility is the first trait that comes to mind, I want to be humble before Allaah first, and second, my people. Humility within hayaa, hayaa defined by simplicity, modesty and moderation.

I am nothing but a servant of the All-Mighty, everything I have is in all thanks and Hamd to only Him, and every blessing I can count is only due to His mercy, so what do I have, to prove to anyone? I really don’t have anything.

Now, hijaab starts off as a protection of me from the world, with a cloth that shrouds beauty and clothing that must obscure the curves and angles, the hijaab defines you primarily as having hayaa, secondly of humility, of not showing off. Thus, all it should do is cover you with a sense of modesty and moderation, simplicity of style, with grace of adhaab to polish it all off.

This is how I should be representing myself, not more, not less. Hijaab to me is a purpose, not just another style to dress up and conform to the latest seasonal trend. Then I think, what do other uncovered girls see in a fashionable hijaabi? Do they see that sense of purpose, or do they see another sleek, chic style that they might warm upto for its sense of fashion, its mere materialistic form. They start desiring it for its’ look, not for its true purpose of hayaa.

Listen, all I’m saying is, don’t ruin such an honourable purpose, such a noble intention, with base desires for dunya, for material nothings, when you know, and I know, at the end of the day both of us will have to be satisfied with a white shroud and six feet of dirt, six feet of Earth. Who gave me the right, the right, to debase and degrade such an invaluable symbol of  humility and protection and turn it into a materialistic desire with a pricetag?

I take refuge, I take refuge, I take refuge in the Only, Perfect One, from the accursed, from myself, and from my perenially unsatisfied nafs.

 Allahumma Innaka Afuwun Tuhibul Afwa Afu Anni.

Sidi Ahmad

January 13, 2008


Sidi Ahmad al-Zarruq, a great scholar from Morocco who died in 1492, once said that the fragrance of his teaching would disseminate in the world long after his bones were laid to rest. It is one of his karamat, or saintly miracles, that his teachings are still alive and still enlighten many people around the word. May God be pleased with him.

Please take what he has to offer;
a cultivated, erudite history put into sophisticated words of exquisite advice,

 bismillah w’alla barkatu’Allaah…

May God give you and us success and rectify our worldly and other wordly lives and grant us adherence to the way of the truth in our journeys and in our sojourns. Know that repentence is a key, taqwa (God-consciousness) is vast, and uprightness is the source of rectification. A servant is never free of either blunders or shortcomings or lassitude. Therefore, never be neglectful of repentance, and never turn away from the act of returning to God the Exalted, and never neglect acts that bring you closer to God the Exalted. Indeed, whenever one of these three occurs, then repent and return to God in penitence.

Everytime that you make a mistake, listen and obey. Anytime you display shortcomings or show lack of enthusiasm, do not desist in your efforts.Let your main concern be to remove from your outer state anything that is displeasing, then maintain this state through continual counsel. Persist in doing this until you find that you are fleeing from anything outwardly displeasing is second nature and that your avoidance of boundaries of prohibited things becomes a protective mesh that is placed before you. At this point, it is time to turn inward to your hearts presence and its’ reality, by way of reflection and rememberance. Do not hasten the end result before you have completed the begininning. But likewise, do not begin without looking at the end result.

Act in accordance with principles and the appropriate legal rulings, and not in accordance with stories and fantasies. Do not even consider stories of how things went with others except as a tonic to strengthen your resolve.

In all of this, depend upon a clear path you can refer to and a foundation that you can rely on in all of your states.

Do not take from the words of others unless it is in accordance with your own path, but submit to their implications if you desire realization. Avoid all forms of vain and foul speech to your absolute utmost. Put aside anything that you cannot discern its benefit immediately. Beware of being extremely hard on your soul before you have obtained mastery over it. But also beware of being too lax with it in anything that concerns sacred rulings. This is because the soul constantly flees from moderation in everything, and it inclines towards extremism in matters of both deviance and guidance.

Seek out a companion to help you in your affairs, and take his counsel concerning matters that occur from both your inward states and outward affairs. & beware of the majority of people in matters that concern your religious and wordly states unless you have ascertained a person has some sound relationship with his Lord based upon a knowledge free of his caprice or love of leadership and based upon a sound intellect free of the pitfalls of others or their hidden states.

Organize your time in a matter appropriate to the times specific needs using gentleness and toleration and be very weary of either harshness or laxity. Work for this world as if you will live forever and work for the Hereafter as if you will die tomorrow. Thus do not neglect the external of your worldly needs. In the meantime, do not be heedless of your destiny and final resting place.

Surrender completely to His decree with the submission of one who knows he can never overcome Him. Have a firm foundation for all of your affairs, and you will be safe from their pitfalls. Organize your devotional practices and you will find your time is extended due to the barakah in it. Never be fanatical about anything, whether it regards truth or falsehood; this way your heart will remain in a state of soundness towards others. Never claim anything you are entitled to, let along what you are not entitled to. This way you will be safe from tricks and treachery. This is because anyone who claims some rank above his own will fall in humiliation. Whereas those who claim a rank they warrant will have it striped from them. While those who claim a station less than their true rank will be eleveated to higher levels than they actually deserve. Never demand a right from anyone, whether the person is an intimate or a stranger.

The reason for this is a stranger in reality owes you nothing, and someone close to you is too precious for you to censure. Never assume that anyone in this world can really understand your circumstances other than from the perspective of his own circumstances. Never belittle any talk that involves absent people even if there is no harm in it due to the possibility of harm entering into it.

Never leave an atoms weight of your regular devotional practice. Never be lenient with yourself in lax times or times of high resolve. Indeed, should you miss some practice at a given time, redress it in another time. If you are not able to do your usual practice at least occupy yourself with something else similar. Never obey your ego even for a moment. Never believe its claims no matter what it tells you. Be vigilant about your resolve in all of your affairs to your utmost. In fact, should you resolve to do something then do it immediately before the resolve wanes. Examine your soul constantly in matters that you are obliged to do or are in need to be done. Antyhing that you are in no need of doing leave it, even if it is something that is recommended. That means not involving yourself in anything other than absolutely necessary things and real discernible needs. Treat others just as you would want to be treated and fulfill that which is due to them.

“If you desire to live such that your religion is safe and your portion is full and your honour is sound, guard your tongue and never mention anothers faults remembering that you yourself have faults and others have tongues.”

Watch your eye.

Live treating others well and avoid aggression, and should others aggress against you leave them but in the best, (most graceful) manner, as the Prophet asaalatu wasalaam did. For the Prophet asaalatu wasalaam said, “Be vigilant of God wherever you are, and follow a misdeed with a good deed and it will remove it ; and treat others with the most excellent character.

No soul will die until it fulfills its decreed portion of this world and its appointed time here. So be conscious of God and make your request with dignity. In summation, repentance, awareness of God, and uprightness are the foundations of all that is beneficial. The truth is clear and its details are weighty and significant. The affair belongs only to God. Success is in His hands.

May God be pleased with Sidi Ahmad and my thanks is due to Shaykh Hamza for the fruits of his gem, Purification of the Heart.

Wasalaamu Alaikum!