May 2, 2007
5.1.07 10:39 p.m
Subhan’Allah, Alhamdulillah, Wa Laa Illaha Allahu Akbar… as the words pour forth rhythmically from my mouth, once, twice, thrice, my heart slowly feels their vibrating calm before my mind embraces their significance. They are what I would call therapy of the tongue, mind, and soul. Not only does my dhikr pull me out of the perenial chaos of my world, but drift me into an ocean of divine serenity, where I let the waves take complete control of my mind, and let my heart rest where it wishes. Out of all the forms of worship I put into daily practice, this is one I can achieve with the least effort, yet reap its rewards so generously. It’s what I would call the repitition of Love, of Mercy, of Greatness. The only way I can become close to my Beloved is by calling out His Names, over and over again, until I can feel Huu settling into my Soul, entirely into my essential being. Alhamdulillah for all He has provided me within such a short period of time, I went from nothing to more than I could ever be grateful for. Huu is the Provider, the Sustainer, and when Huu wants, Huu shall take whenever Huu pleases. Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim!
It is only due to Huu Allah az Wajaal that I have come SO incredibly far in such little time. Huu’s blessings and mercies are so beneficent and eternal I couldn’t count them had I tried for the next 1 thousand years… my Love has exceeded boundaries I never knew it had, and my understanding has targeted levels I never dreamed of… everything I could ask for, I have been granted, everything I wanted to understand, I not only know better now, but whats more amazing is, I’ve begun to guide other human understanding onto my own. Learning and appreciating day by day was apparently not sufficient, that as I began teaching and conveying, my light touching upon others so widely and endlessly, I only found myself in tears, inexpressibly lost in the Mercy of my Lord.
What have I done to earn such Generosity, such Love, such pure Light? I am at a loss of understanding, of comprehension. I have done nothing to earn such Mercy. It is only Huu’s unalterable, eternal understanding that has given me all I could ask for. Huu provided me with such that I never asked for, but needed oh so extremely.
For the past 5 months, I’ve come far on the Lighted Path of Understanding. Far on the path of Love and Fear, Trust and Hope. Starting with nothing, and finding the Only Greatness, I couldn’t’ve found my way more precisely. Essentially, finally, establishing my foundations as a Human Being, Creation of the Magnificent Creator, I have just begun to quench my thirst, Subhan’Allah !! Aiy, even writing this out, the Mercy and Bliss is beyond my imagination.
Thus, let’s begin on this foundational movement. In Thy Name, I found out Who Huu really was, and once tasting the intoxication, I couldn’t bring myself to ever become sober again. Forgeting who I was, I entrenched myself in Huu, swallowing up as much as I can in sips of sweetness, that will, Insh’Allah never run dry. And after becoming so overcome, I didn’t care for who I was any longer, but only wanted Huu. Once that longing overcame me, I began to look for how to bring myself closer and closer to my One and Only. This is when I learned to fulfill my purpose as Huu’s creation, created only to Serve. Everything, and anything came into my understanding only for Huu, only for Huu’s happiness. & Only for 1 reason, “I have created humans and jinns, only should they serve Me.” Grounding this verse as my rock, I built everything else on top of it. Afterall, the sayings of the Master are the only stability the slave could use. The Creator created the creation, connecting it to Huu, through the Full Command- Isla’am. Obedience, Peace, Love. So my journey of understanding started, through Isla’am, my way of life, way of survival.
Starting with the first stone of Ima’an, Only Serve One, and through Love and Fear. By bringing your Mind and Body into Unity through Ita’at, Taqwaa, and Ultimately Ihsa’an. That’s all, and your entire being will thus be in servitude, always. In between direct worship of reading and implementing the Qura’an and Sunnah, loving my Muslim Ummaat, striving for the Ultimate Knowledge, learning the essense and mental capicity of working hard for what I want, and learning all I can about the blessed creation, and lastly, not leastly, maintenance of my Home and physical Body, I have gained stability upon my first stone!
And then to go further and learn the spirit of all I’ve accomplished through the peaceful conjoining of my mind and body for my Ultimate Soul, I have gained quite an eyeful. The amazing Soul, having been for all of creation and its’ eternal continuance, it having known its’ purpose from the beginning, and living in the harmony of Huu’s Will, it plays with those like it in existence, the Souls of others. Of the obedient, of the blessed. Contrasting the dark, the Light will be with the Light.
Subhan’Allah, Alhamdulillah, Wa Laa Illaha Allahu Akbar!